Do you remember when we first heard about Nespresso? The idea that coffee at home could be brewed with a pod capsule? Wot No! It sounded bonkers, yet now Nespresso, Lavazza and even Aldi are on the trend. Making coffee well requires a lot of skill. Most of us just don’t have the time or talent.
Cocktails take this to a whole new level. More ingredients, more aromatics, more equipment and an intimidating level of skill needed. Oh and then the cost. The Bartesian cocktail maker is often referred to as the “Keurig for cocktails,” promising to deliver bar-quality mixed drinks right in your home. But is it worth the investment? We put this innovative gadget to the test to find out.
The Problem
Creating a cocktail bar at home is expensive. You need to invest into 4-10 spirits as a base, then add sugar syrups, have a fridge filled at any time of the week with a supply of lemons, limes and citrus along with aromatic flavours which you might use a few times a year. Then you need Google to help you through an intimidating line up of 10ml here, stir this, foam that egg white, then add that distillation. All this adds all up and you are easily into two thousand dollars to set up a decent bar at home.
The Unboxing Bartesian
It’s too easy. I lift open the box and the main ‘brew’ base has sections to connect the five glass spirit bottles (900ml) which are labeled on the lids (Vodka, Whiskey, Rum, Gin, Tequila)
These are the base spirits to most cocktails. There are four chambers on the base for different flasks, in addition to a water reservoir which cleans out the pipes between cocktails.Yep, if your brain is spinning 5 bottles but 4 spots on the ‘base’.
The Set Up
We choose our spirits and load them up:
1. Vodka – Great for cocktails like Cosmopolitans, Margaritas, and more.
2. Whiskey – Essential for classic drinks like Old Fashioneds and Whiskey Sours.
3. Gin (or Rum – we choose rum) – Perfect for G&T’s, Mojitos, and other tropical drinks.
4. Tequila – For delicious Margaritas, Palomas, and other tequila-based cocktails.
We fill up each flask. And clunk, click, it’s all connected and plug into our power supply. The LED asks if it’s the first use and cleans away.
Design and Build Quality
It has a sleek modern design with a stainless steel finish. It’s sizable, so the top of a cocktail cart works, or (for us) our kitchen counter. In short this baby needs somewhere to live. So I have to decide whether our kitchen aid goes into the cupboard, our airfryer (god no), or microwave. It has a touchscreen interface which can be a little unresponsive at times and needs to be tap tap tapped to engage and on the odd occasion of pushing down the lever didn’t pierce the pod, so two lever pulls is my recommendation.
Ease of Use
Setting up the Bartesian is a breeze. I fill the glass reservoirs with my spirits, add water to the back section and I am ready to go.
The machine uses pre-mixed cocktail capsules just like a coffee pod. The difference is the barcode which tells the machine the quantities to use. What I really love is the personalisation over how weak or strong you like your drink. The screen asks: Mocktail, Light, Regular or Strong – it even tells me what kind of glass/prep I need before it makes the drink. For the record, strong is blow your head off, it’s-been-a-bad-week-and-I-need-a-great-drink strong.
For a Pineapple Margarita it tells me ‘low ball glass with ice’ – how cute! Thanks Bartesian.
Just like a nespresso you have to clamp down the leaver to pierce the capsule. This mostly works well but I did find over time a double lever maneuver was a good one.
After the cocktail is made, the water reservoir can then clean all the pipes so you are not tasting traces of bourbon whiskey with your cosmo. It also has a drip tray mat which catches spills and which is a nice touch.
The Taste Test
We are big cocktail fans. In fact most weekends we hit up our drinks trolley from making Tommy margs, Manhattan’s, Brambles, whisky sours and more. We know our spirits, invested into quality brands, bitters over time and have all the gear. So you would think we might be a bit snobbish about it all. We are. Yet um. We are not.
The reality is cocktail making needs a lot of preparation. I might be cooking, we are both deep in doing stuff, we want a cocktail but it takes a good 15 minutes to make one, from squeezing limes, sugar syrups and more, then the clean up. There is something deliciously lazy about a machine that at the press of the button does it all. No faff, no clean up, no lead time just 15 seconds and poof! a freaking good cocktail. Love.
The range is limited in terms of the capsules you buy at the ‘shop front’ Lemon drop, Old Fashioned, Whisky Sour, Long Island Iced Tea, Cosmopolitan. The variety opens up on subscription. All of a sudden you can access ‘Gin or Vodka Lovers Variety’ pack, Hemingway, White Sangria, Negroni, Great Gatsby and more. Every 1,2 or 3 months and choose 2-8 items with 20% off. This is a subscription business to happiness!
The Summary
What are we addicted to? It’s fast, fuss free, no clean up and rather than reaching for a glass of wine I have so many choices just a few seconds away. Drinking is so much fun. Where it really comes into its own is a dinner party. Our crew were besotted!! The fun of picking out a drink, choosing the strength and going back for another one. It’s just not possible to do that when you’re entertaining. So if you have a family, friends this is the bees knees. The option of non alcoholic options also means that you can swap your glass of wine for a mocktail and they are really, really good.
What we need to be more addicted?The machine is a big piece of kit. The responsiveness of the screen could be a bit better. It’s a large initial outlay and the capsules can be pricey compared to making it at home. The range on shop is small so you have to subscribe to open up your world.
Bartesian Cocktail Maker -The Bartesian machine is currently stocked at JB Hi-Fi and The Good Guys and is available for $649. Bartesian capsule 8-packs are priced at $34, with a variety of capsule options to suit every taste.
